I Almost Got Fired From Teaching!

Written by Victoria Psaltis

"Victoria, can I see you for a second?"

It was a normal Monday morning. I had spent the night before preparing my lessons and laminating resources to put up in my classroom, before my first classroom environmental check. What could this possibly be about? I was a brand new teacher, straight out of uni, so eager to impress and do the best job ever. I had worked hard for years to be here, and yet, I felt weird about this impromptu meeting with the coordinator. Something felt off.

I walked into a small room lined with university certificates and a portrait...not of her family or her kids...but of HERSELF!

My palms began sweating and suddenly my heart began racing. I could feel my face go red with fear, anxiety and embarrassment. I could almost feel her disappointment and dissatisfaction with me from across the burnished brown desk, of which she sat.

No one got called into the office like THIS! Especially not new teachers...

"Morning"

I said, quietly.

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When I began teaching, I felt this immense feeling that I had to impress. I was 22 and I had to know everything, immediately! Afterall, I was on a temp contract and had moved across Sydney to be closer to this job opportunity, and I couldn't f*%^ it up. This was the only school that had said "yes" out of the 50 applications sent off that Summer.

I took it seriously. I was always the first to arrive and the last the leave, had lessons organised a week to a month in advance. My classroom labels were laminated before school started in January and teaching resources were always neat and tidy, like no student had ever used them. Wall displays were up there as one of my top priorities too! Not because I thought it mattered the most, but because we would be marked against a very specific criteria 4 times a year.

Organisation? Pfft easy...

Lesson plans? not a problem.

What really got me unstuck was behaviour management. My students each with their own very vibrant personalities, had become accustom to looking at teachers as the enemy or even a challenge to break. Weeks went by and no matter what I did or said, students lacked respect; often mocking me during routine learning tasks.

Trouble was.. This was becoming obvious. People were noticing. The executive team were noticing. My name was now the topic of whispers behind closed office doors.

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"How are you finding it all?" she said with a deceptive smile.

This was when I knew something was wrong. I knew that they were watching me. I often caught coordinators and executives walk out of the office just as I was going to library or computer time. They would strategically position themselves around lining up time to observe classes transitioning. The sneaky looks through the windows as they walked past my classroom everyday would make me anxious. They WERE watching. ME.

So as the conversation went on, I began to feel this crazy feeling that if I don't change SOMETHING, I was going to be asked to leave. And this wasn't uncommon. I just wasn't going to be one of them.

"Maybe teaching isn't for you"

I was right.

Throughout my life, many people have doubted my ability, my drive. TEACHING WAS FOR ME. I hadn't spent my primary school years pretending to give assignments and teach my brothers on a make-shift whiteboard in my bedroom, for nothing.

It was then that I made a decision to prove everyone wrong. I worked tirelessly to read articles on classroom routine, books on behaviour management, teacher blogs on teaching and learning strategies. I talked to experienced colleagues and friends. I watched and I learned.

Here's the thing. That year, I had to become THAT teacher. You know the one that was so focused on lines being straight, no foot out of line, silence during work time. What kind of life was this? For myself and the students. My nervous system was way up high from the moment I entered, to the time I sat in my car for the long drive home. Imagine your body's internal volume knob being turned up all day, making every sensation, event and stressor feel more intense than usual.

Later that term, my principal called me into his office. Here we go again.

You see... the 'looks' continued as the weeks went on, the quiet chatter persisted often.

He went on to say that they WERE going to FIRE me, if something didn't change, and that I was LUCKY to have been given another chance. Lucky?

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When I think about the beginning of my career now, choosing a school that had such high expectations for teacher expertise was a blessing and a curse. I developed a very thick skin, and found my teacher voice, quickly. However, I had to UNLEARN a style of teaching that just didn't resonate with my soul and supported my values.

Later in my career, I enjoyed building relationships with my students of which developed a mutual respect. Students enjoy the magic of learning, and wonderful schools DO exist.

After only 2 years I became accredited and after 3, I presented at an explicit teaching conference held in Sydney's CBD, with my principal and coordinator in the front row.

This story is not JUST my own, but the reality of many new teachers coming through into the system today. At that time, I believe the realities of the profession hit me hard. And so my journey today is to offer this beacon of support to educators, guiding them through challenges and helping them also emerge as confident, effective and fulfilled professionals. New teachers don't HAVE to worry about losing their jobs, but instead enjoy the journey of teaching again.

If you have felt in a similar way, please reach out to victoria@guidedgrowthcoaching.com

I'd love to hear your story.

Much love xx